


Moonlight

by VibrantNeonBlack



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Crazy Azula is still Azula, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Insanity, Mental Breakdown, Mental Healing, Rarepair, Snark, Yue has the patience of a saint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 12:38:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11874624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VibrantNeonBlack/pseuds/VibrantNeonBlack
Summary: Betrayed, defeated, shattered, imprisoned.  Azula's mind has a lot to recover from, and it's been a slow process.  She's certain that she's making progress, now that the hallucinations of her mother have gone away.  Unfortunately, someone else has taken her mother's place.And Azula might just hate her even more.





	Moonlight

I was happy when my mother stopped appearing.  Ecstatic even.  And for plenty of reasons.  First and foremost, because I never cared about her all that much when she was really around; she favored my thrice-damned brother no matter how hard she tried to hide it.  But at least if she had been here physically I’d be able to torch her whenever one of her ‘I’m-so-disappointed-but-I-love-you-anyway’ speeches became unbearable.  Or just for the hell of it.  Instead I was forced to sit there, throwing out obscenities and waiting for her to get bored of haunting me and vanish back into the depths of my mind on her own.

 

And of course, the fact that she doesn’t show up anymore can only mean positive things for my so-called poor mental state.  Maybe I’ll be released from this cell sooner than expected.

 

...Well, that’s what I had thought anyway.  But I barely got the chance to celebrate the second departure of my mother from my life before I started receiving another visitor to my isolated little cell.

 

And I think I hate her even more than Mother.

 

Unlike my mother, I have no idea who this girl is.  Strangely enough, she appears to be a Water peasant, if the dark skin, blue eyes and the way that she only appears to me at night when the moonlight shines through my tiny barred window are any indication.

 

I really shouldn’t have to point out how much I hate Water peasants.  At least this one is somewhat presentable in her flowing white robes that appear to be made of silk; a far sight better than the dyed blue animal skins that the rest all seem to love so much.

 

So I’m coming to grips with having a Water peasant appearing before me where my mother used to be.  The next question is why?  Because while I may be insane like everyone keeps telling me, I’m still sane enough to acknowledge that this girl is no more real than the ghost of Mother, but at least Mother made sense to me.  This girl though, is a complete stranger.  Perhaps my damaged mind is trying to tell me something through her.  Perhaps this mysterious figment is meant to represent some deep-seeded feeling that I’m subconsciously repressing, like a fear that I’m unwilling to face.  Or maybe it’s guilt over the part I played in trying to crush all of her kind under my boots, along with the Earthbenders and anyone else who’d opposed me.

 

...Well, obviously it couldn’t be that, because I don’t feel the slightest bit of guilt.  I’d hunt down and murder every last one of those snowbound savages with my bare hands right now if I could.  Maybe that’s it, maybe she’s meant to represent my hatred.  That would make more sense:  there’s not much left in this world that I don’t hate, after all.  And it would make sense for the personification of my hatred to be that of a Water peasant, being both my polar opposite and a grave reminder of exactly who it was that dealt me my final defeat, the last straw that broke my mind atop a rather long list of disappointments and betrayals.

 

So I guess that’s it, then.  I’m being haunted by the manifestation of my own rage in the form of this glowing, white-haired Water peasant.

 

Heh, and they all said I wasn’t capable of cognitive thinking anymore.

xxx

 

For being the manifestation of my own rage, this white-haired figment is almost infuriating in her own complete lack of aforementioned rage.

 

I don’t really know what I was expecting from her; possibly taunts, insults and a whole lot of dirty looks, since that’s what I had been giving her since the first night she appeared.  Well, why not?  She was something that I hated, and I already knew from dealing with the ghost of my mother that physically attacking her would be futile.  She probably wouldn’t even have the decency to look briefly terrified if I started flinging fire at her.  Not to mention that the first sign of fire or lightning in my chamber would result in a swarm of guards and orderlies rushing in to subdue me.  Again.

 

Not that my weakened state would allow me to channel lightning anymore (for the time being), anyway.

 

And besides, mentally abusing someone was always more fun in the long run.

 

At least, it’s _supposed_ to be.

 

Unless the person you were trying to mentally abuse wouldn’t even give you the satisfaction of getting angry or upset about it.  That was what made it fun, for Agni's sake!  That was the only tolerable thing about spending time with Zuzu when we were growing up.  No matter how he tried to hide it, it was plain as the giant, grotesque scar on his face that my words ate at him like ant-wasps attacking a picnic.

 

But this girl?  This product-of-my-fractured-mind Water peasant wouldn’t even allow me that simple pleasure.  Since she first appeared she would just stand there, nearly expressionless no matter what I said to her.  Of course, since I didn’t know her well, I couldn’t get as personal with my venom as I’d have liked, but I figured that the typical Water Tribe slurs and derogatory remarks would be enough to provoke _some_ kind of reaction.  Unfortunately, the most I ever got from her was a small frown or a sad little smile before she would vanish from sight.  I sated myself on the belief that she was going off to wherever the hell she went when she wasn’t staring at me so she could cry without being seen.  But that didn’t stop her from coming back the next night.

 

That’s how the first few nights would go.  She would appear among the first rays of moonlight, irritate me with her mere presence, and then vanish again just as I would begin to get into the swing of my taunts.  She never spoke, maybe she couldn’t.  But overall the lack of negative responses really took a lot of the entertainment out of it, and the routine grew boring rather quickly.

 

After that, I decided to ignore her.  If all she was going to do was stand there staring at me, then let her stare at my unmoving back as I lay on my little bed facing away from her.  Maybe she’d be the one to grow bored with the whole thing and stop showing up.

 

Well, I couldn’t be that fortunate.  My lack of attention only made her stick around longer.  She still didn’t say anything, or even move from her spot by the window.  Just watched me as though I were some peculiar new animal specimen.  The only difference was that she would stay for close to an hour now, whereas before she would vanish after only a few minutes.  I did notice once, however, that she would disappear instantly if a guard walked by my cell, which they did much less frequently after the sun set.  I don’t know how she always managed to hear them coming when I usually couldn't, but I suppose it was a good idea that I had stopped acknowledging her before then.  A surefire way to have your bill of clean health pushed back an extra month was to have someone walk in on you while you’re calling the bare wall a filthy, frost-bitten, inbred daughter of a diseased mole-otter.

 

Oh well, whatever.  All I have to do is keep ignoring her like I’ve been and eventually she’ll disappear and not return and I’ll put this whole crazy episode behind me.  And if she really is here for some specific reason, then let _her_ tell me what it is.  Otherwise, it’s really no difference to me.

xxx

 

“Why are you here?” I finally demanded six nights later.  Honestly, I didn’t really care what her reasons were at this point, just that she _give_ me a damn reason.  Over two weeks of her nightly visits and feeling her staring holes into my back while I tried to sleep was starting to irritate the hell out of me.

 

“Well?” I prompted when she failed to respond.  Again!  That was the real issue in this entire thing; she was being highly disrespectful to me.  And damned if I was going to be disrespected by a figment of my own imagination!  “What do you want?  Am I so interesting that you feel compelled to bask in my glory every single night?  Answer me, peasant!”

 

I was so tempted to punch a smoldering hole in her chest when she just continued to stare at me.  The only things stopping me was knowing that it would be a wasted effort and honestly more trouble that it was worth if a guard were to take notice.  So instead, I settled for a hateful growl and flopped back onto my bed, turning to face the wall as I had been.

 

“I was actually the Princess of the Northern Water Tribe.  I was never a peasant.”

 

I snorted loudly.  Well good for you.  As if being a Water Princess was any real step up from being....

 

I twisted around to stare at her.  The look on my face must have been highly amusing as her stoney expression crumbled under a small giggle.

 

“So now you decide to speak?” I sneered, trying to cover my temporary lapse.  “To what do I owe the honor?”

 

She grinned again, almost imperceptibly.  “Well, this is the first time you’ve spoken to me without insulting me in the process.  Aside from the ‘peasant’ comment, anyway, but I assume that’s as close to polite as I’m liable to get from you.”

 

Why, that snobby, filthy little-!  She should feel privileged enough that I was speaking to her at all!  Who was she to think that she deserved respect from me?

 

"And I don't know if anyone has ever told you," the apparition continued.  "But you're not a very... approachable person."

 

You know, I think I liked her better when she didn't talk.  I sat back up, crossing my arms and legs, and ready take charge of the situation.  "Well, _Princess_ ,"  She rolled her eyes at the added emphasis to the word.  "Now that you've finally recovered your tongue, perhaps you'll see fit to answer my questions?"

 

She cocked her head to the side, placing a finger next to her mouth.  "What questions were those?"

 

I narrowed my eyes at her cheekiness, ready to fire off a venomous retort when that little grin returned to her face.  "Oh yes, you asked why I was here, correct?"

 

Definitely preferred her when she didn't talk.  "Well?" I growled.

 

"Well, the simplest of answers is that I was asked to watch over you during your recovery, so-"

 

I interrupted with an bark of laughter.  "You don't honestly expect me to believe that someone was stupid enough to ask a member of the Water Tribes to 'watch over' me?"  The white haired wench had the nerve to roll her eyes at me again, though I suppose the quotation marks I made with my fingers while saying 'watch over' was a bit juvenile.  Though no less juvenile than eye-rolling, in my humble opinion.

 

"If it makes you feel any better, I was far from the first one that was prayed to about this," she informed me.  "In fact, I was one of the last.  And really, the only reason I answered the prayer at all was because I was so intrigued about a member of the Fire Nation praying to the Moon for anything, much less for something like this."

 

"...The Moon," I repeated, conveying in two little words just how much I believed that explanation.

 

She nodded.  "Oh yes.  My name is Yue, the Spirit of the Moon."

 

Okay, well apparently I've been taking my imagination for granted over the years, because I had no idea it could be this wild.  Imagine, someone who not only cared enough about my well-being to pray to the spirits to watch over me, but for that prayer to be answered by the Moon itself.  I dare say I could make quite the living as a fiction novelist were I to ever get over this silly insanity problem.

 

"Well, don't keep me in suspense, Moon Princess," I prompted snidely.  "Who exactly was it that has you visiting my humble abode every night?"

 

She smiled.  A real smile this time, not that minuscule thing she'd been showing me off and on over the past two weeks.  I'd say it was just the moonlight she was standing in, but it really did seem to brighten up the place.  Hmph.

 

"Well?" I demanded.

 

"The request was from your mother, Lady Ursa."

 

...Huh.  Well isn't that something?  My mother?  The damnable woman that I've been haunted by and cursing for months on end saw fit to send a Water Peasant Princess Moon Spirit to me.  That's actually kind of funny.

 

In fact, it must be incredibly funny, because despite my efforts I just can't seem to stop laughing. 

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this story several years ago, right around the time that Legend of Korra started airing. I didn't get much further than this, mostly BECAUSE of Korra, which I started writing fics for almost immediately, leaving this to linger on the hard drive almost untouched ever since. I am hoping to finish it, though, we'll just have to see how long it takes.
> 
> By the way: I've never actually read the Last Airbender comics, so I don't know how the Zuko's mom storyline actually plays out. In this story's canon, Zuko and the others track Ursa down and bring her home. Ursa then tries to visit Azula in the institution/prison, but Azula couldn't comprehend her as anything but another hallucination, leading Ursa to pray to the spirits to help her daughter.
> 
> Hope you liked it. More to come eventually.


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